this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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