omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just high enough for therapy.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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