According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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