I can text with my tongue
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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