His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
