We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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