I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
