found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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