I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
