i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
40s are totally the cure
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
