im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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