Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
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I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
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Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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