Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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