Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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