Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
