I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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