garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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