I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
