Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
How drunk are you?
Completed.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
