Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize