Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
