Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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