U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you would pick up someone in the library
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
