I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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