He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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