Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
