I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
