This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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