and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
