i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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