I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
