i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize