He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
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Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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