Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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