i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I've blown a few things in my day
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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