where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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