so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
