His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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