plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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