You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
