Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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