the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
