"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
