well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
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Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
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Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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