I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
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It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
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Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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