omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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