Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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