well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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