I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
