So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
