totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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