she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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