I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
