It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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