Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
