I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
