I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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