Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Send help, water and tortillas.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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