Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
